You’re here, ladies, because you can’t f*ck.
Oh, stop it. Don’t cringe. No one under the age of 80 clutches their pearls.
You might as well get used to it, because for the next six weeks, you’re going to hear that word a lot. And you’re going to say it a lot.
Go ahead, try it out on your tongue.
Ok, good. Now where were we?
If you enrolled yourself in this program then you are wholly aware that you’re a lousy lay. Good for you. Admitting it is half the battle.
For those of you that have been sent here by your husband or significant other, dry your tears and get over it. You’ve been given a gift, ladies. The gift of mind-blowing, wall-climbing, multiple-orgasm-inducing sex. You have the opportunity to f*ck like a porn star. And I guarantee, you will when I’m done with you.
From the synopsis I thought, “Hey, a book about teaching women how to enjoy sex! Maybe some tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom, hands on lessons with our hero and heroine… it’s gonna be a fun romp!”
What the blurb doesn’t say is that the vast majority of women at Justice Drake’s spa/retreat/sex clinic are being cheated on by their husbands. And throughout he says, more or less directly, that it’s their own fault.
“You suck at sex… you don’t satisfy your husband sexually, which is why he wants to cheat on you, if he hasn’t already. You may be a fantastic wife, mother, homemaker, whatever, but you are a lousy lover. And that trumps all.”
So a guy cheating has nothing to do with the guy. Nope! The fact that he finds himself unsatisfied in some way, fails to communicate, then disregards his wedding vows to stick his dick in whatever suits him… that’s all his wife’s fault. Or the fact that he’s gay but doesn’t tell the woman he married… also her fault. Or he’s a spoiled brat that expects everyone to bow to his will… her fault. What?? Are you fucking kidding me?!
I kept hoping that this crazy would get turned around somehow but no such luck. Justice gets the hots for one of the wives who, of course, didn’t need a course on how to be sexy. She eventually realizes what an ass her husband is and comes back to Justice. HEA? The end.
If you couldn’t tell this book pissed me off to no end. Parts are well done – the writing is solid if infuriating, and Justice is understandingly uncomfortable with having the hots for another man’s wife. I loved that the chef is of Brazilian and Japanese ancestry, a more common combination than you would think. But the whole premise comes back to “you suck at sex, so of course your husband is cheating on you,” and that will never earn more than one star from me. Good riddance.